If you have EVER been married, I need your HELP!
Categories: Advice for Brides, March 2009, Weddings, engagements, Bridals
Tags: bride photography groom love weddings advice
If you have EVER been married (or are getting married soon), I need your HELP! I am writing a wedding book with my friend and need your input-just answer these three questions (by making a comment below) and you might be included in our book!!! It is about wedding planning-so keep that in mind.
1. What is one thing you would change about your wedding, what would it be and why? (i.e. didn't hire a professional photographer; cake cost too much, would have spent less and kept the money for ourselves.....stuff like that.....not "my in-laws" 
2. What was your favorite part about the wedding day? (Besides your new spouse!)
3. Out of these wedding categories listed below, what where (or should have been) your TOP 3 priorities? 3 LEAST important priorities?
Flowers, Cake, Photographer, Videographer, Bridal Gown, Bridesmaid Dresses, Tuxes, Rings, Decorations, Food/Catering, DJ/Music, Location of ceremony/reception, Honeymoon, Invitations, Officiant/Clergy, or other (and specify)
Thanks everyone! Put your name if you want it mentioned or initials if you don't! If you have any other wedding planning advice, feel free to add it on at the end!
TO LEAVE A COMMENT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PUT YOUR EMAIL OR WEBSITE-JUST YOUR NAME (OR MAKE ONE UP ) AND TYPE IN THE CODE.
I would LOVE to get 100 replies so I can do a "we took a survey of 100 people....hehe-so ask your family & friends to do it too!
For me, my favorite and most memorable part of the wedding day was being announced for the first time as husband and wife to all of our guests at the reception. My husband and I decided to have a very private ceremony and for our reception we wanted only close family members and friends. We ended up with 100 guests who arrived while we were taking photo's. When we arrived our guests were already sitting down waiting for the evening to start. So when we were announced as husband and wife we walked outside and saw the most wonderful site. It was truly amazing to see so many people who mean so much to you gathered together in one place to support you once again. It was more emotional then I was prepared for. I got teary eyed as my husband and I went through and gave a brief introduction of each person who made a difference in our life. This put our wedding day into perspective; that even though it was our special day, it wouldn't have been as special if we didn't have so many wonderful people there to share it with us.
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1. I would have spent money on a second photographer! I am sad that we missed everyone gathering outside after the ceremony because we were stuck taking photos with family, friends, etc. I hear such wonderful stories about our family intermingling and I am sad we don't have photos to capture those memories! I would have also made a list of what songs I wanted the DJ to play. (besides the first dance, daddy/daughter, and mother/son). I also wish I would have told the DJ to stay until the time we had him for. After we left and everyone was outside sending us off, he was inside taking down all of his equipment!
2. Seeing all of my family and having two families turn to one! My wedding was the wedding I always dreamed of when I was little! I loved the look on my husbands face when he first saw me in my dress, I loved the toasts made by our fathers and best man, and I loved kissing my husband for the first time as Mrs. Higgs! (Everyone cheered and clapped when the pronounce us Mr. and Mrs. Higgs! It was awesome!)
3. 1. Photography. These are the photos you are going to have to remember your special day! SPEND THE MOST ON YOUR PICTURES! It will be what your kids, grandkids, people who couldn't make it will have to remember your special day!
2. Food/Catering. People have taken timed out of work, have traveled far distances to be at your wedding, and have even spent money on getting you a gift. Don't make them leave the wedding having to go get food because you didn't have enough.
3. Wedding Favors. This isn't on the list but I would recommend it. I have been to a lot of weddings where I never received a "Thank You" note for their gift I have bought for them, but I received an amazing/touching wedding favor that meant the world to me. With wedding favors it is the last thing your guest receive and the last "thank you" before leaving the reception. The bride and groom are so busy it is hard to say thank you to everyone that has come to share your day. You can give them a token of your appreciation by giving them a meaningful favor that says thanks for sharing our day with us!
Hope my comments help! You rock! =)
Ashley and Buck Higgs
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1. I have NO pictures that are not as a group where the photographer says "smile look at camera". There is no story or feeling in any of the photo's. No precious,spontaneous priceless images. Not one, where we are not looking at the camera, or capturing anyone's feeling or personality. Pictures of what was going on around us as we stood in the line greeting everyone.
2. Right before the wedding as we sat together alone before going in the room where everyone was waiting. But even more than that was the actual ceremony. Very emotional and spiritual.
3. Should have been....
1. Photographer
2. Reception location
3. I wish the photographer had and extra brush for me sweet forgettable hubby. HA, HA, HA
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1- Instead of 'piecing' together all of the different aspects, I would have either chosen a reception center that did everything, or hired a service that took care of all of the details (linen, food, decorations) etc.
2-The 'venue' where we were married. Second favorite... seeing family and friends at the reception.
3- How about I just put them in order of importance:
-Officiant/Clergy (Temple -this was a given, and I wouldn't consider it a priority, just a fact)
-Photographer (and I'm not just saying that)
-Bridal Gown
-Location of reception
-(other) Bridal pictures
-Food/Catering
-DJ/Music
-Cake
-Flowers
-Rings
-Decorations
-Tuxes
-Honeymoon
didn't have a Videographer or Bridesmaid Dresses
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I thought I should put mine for fun!
1. I wish there were photographers that did NON-posey, creative pictures when I got married. They were good for when I got married I guess!
Now my husband would have changed our cake. He STILL talks about how much he hated our cake (it wasn't that bad--long story--was in a fight with my mom at the cake place and just picked one out of a magazine....)
2. That Elder Holland married us! BEST wedding ever ;D Other than that, I would have to say walking into the room and seeing all our close family & friends and the tangible love in the room.
3. (What I should have done
TOP 3 1. Photography 2. Bridal Gown 3. Honeymoon
LEAST IMPORTANT: 1. DJ 2. Decorations 3. Videographer (I just wish that someone/anyone would have recorded parts of our day).
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1. Where I got my dress and Tuxes from-they were so rude and the Tux was too short for my husband-but he didn't try it on with the shoes until the day of our wedding so we had to use it! I should have looked around more or just rented the dress or something.
2. Feeling like a princess! Getting the "Royal Treatment" from everyone. I enjoyed the entire day-it was just so fun. And then you get to end it with your honeymoon...what a great day!
3. Top 3
1. Location of Ceremony (=
2-(Should have been)Tuxes (due to my answer on #1)
3-Bridal Gown (due to my answer on #1)
4-Photographer/videographer
Bottom 3
1-Bridesmaid Dresses
2-Refreshments
3-Location of Reception
(Not that I didn't worry about all those things, they just didn't seem as important as other things (=
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1. What is one thing you would change about your wedding, what would it be and why? I would have only had a maid of honor and eliminated all the bridesmaids. (However honestly I would have loved to elope!)
2. What was your favorite part about the wedding day? I loved my dress and my cake!
3. Out of these wedding categories listed below, what where (or should have been) your TOP 3 priorities? 3 LEAST important priorities?
Top 3: Bridal Gown, Cake, Photographer
Least important 3: Videographer, DJ/Music, Location of Ceremony
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1. I would have spent more money on pictures and video...both engagement and wedding day. Those are the memories that will last. I wouldn't have spent as much on the place or the catering. It really doesn't matter to me now and others don't remember it.
2. Feeling so completely happy and in love. It was such an awesome feeling knowing that my best friend was going to be mine forever.
3. Most important: Photographer, Videographer, Bridal Gown
Least important: Decorations, food, DJ
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1. I was married 20 years ago, but I would have had a professional video, we had only one angle and it turned off accidentally during part of the ceremony. I would have wanted more reception pictures of people at the reception not just the bridal party. So many people were there.
2. Having my friends and family from all over the country celebrating with us.
3. this one is tough because all were important. I guess flower, photography and decorations. Least important was food.
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1. I wouldn't have argued with my mom about stupid, little things that don't even matter when it's all said and done. In the end, I remember the arguments and how bad I felt about having them, but I don't even remember what they were about. How silly!
2. My favorite part about the wedding day was right after the ceremony when we were on the temple grounds taking pictures of us and our families. The stress of getting married was over and I just felt so relaxed and happy. Plus, it was a beautiful day, I was wearing a gorgeous dress, all my friends and family were surrounding me, and I was walking around the beautiful Salt Lake Temple grounds with my new husband. Everyone was so just so happy, including me!
3. My top 3 priorities were:
- Photographer
- Bridal Gown
- Videographer/Rings (it's a toss up)
I would keep my priorities the same if I were to do it over again. Those were the most important things to me and they all turned out great. As long as those three things were really good, I knew I could deal with other goofs ups that would (and did!) happen.
I would say one thing about the photographer. On our wedding day, Terra happened to have a girl shadowing her, so we got a whole bunch of photos from a second photographer. She did a great job capturing more candid moments while Terra was posing us. Some of her pictures are my favorites because I remember exactly what I was feeling when she took the picture. I would highly recommend a second photographer just for the temple pictures after the ceremony. It meant a lot to us. Just make sure your primary photographer is really good (like Terra), otherwise you won't get good candid pictures either.
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1. We did go cheap on everything and I am glad we did, I think people spend way too much $ on the wedding, I do regret not taking a picture of Just Me in my wedding dress, and we never really developed the other pictures either. So I do wish I had a photo to hang on the wall.
2. We had a fun and relaxing Hawaiian theme at the reception. All the guys wore khaki pants or shorts. We had lei's for all the girls, and I had bare feet. It was great. We have fin Hawaiian sorbet and fruit, saved my parents a lot of $.
3. My three top choices would be Dress, Photographer, and cake. My three choices are my top choices, but that does not mean the most expensive. I think the dress is important because the bride should feels beautiful and the inside and out. The photographer because the pictures help create the memories. And the cake because you should have a cool and yummy cake that you actually eat and not just save for decoration later. We ate every piece of mine and it was good.
The three least things to worry about would be: 1. Invitations, They are cool to receive and talk about , but don't they just get thrown away? 2. DJ/Music have some fun songs playing, but don't go all out an an expensive DJ, as long as there is some music, these days you can make a collection of your favorite tunes on your I pod and play away with some speakers. 3.Brides Maids Dresses, another waist of Money. They never really wear them again. Why not just them them your colors and they wear something that coordinates with those colors. Then you don't have girls in dresses, they will never wear again, usually not made for there body shape, meeting people they don't know. Save the money and let them wear what they want.
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1. I just wish I had a better idea of what I was doing when I was planning my wedding! Prior to getting engaged I really never paid attention to weddings, never had an idea of what I wanted mine to be like, etc. So most of the time I was flying by the seat of my pants and making tons of last-minute decisions. That said, there was only one things I didn't absolutely love about my wedding:
The flowers. My mother-in-law is friends with a lady that does the flowers at Thanksgiving Point,so we ordered the flowers through her,even though she wasn't the friendliest or most helpful woman (the first time I met with her, she was appalled that I didn't have a picture of the exact bouquet I wanted- what the?) I got married in November, so I planned an elegant fall wedding. I thought I was very clear about wanting roses in dark autumnal shades, but I ended up with technicolor red, yellow, and orange flowers with bright green berries. I didn't really notice on the day of the wedding, but when I got the pictures back I was pretty disappointed with how bright they were. Luckily I didn't have flowers as my centerpieces and luckily Terra is a photoshop genius.
2. This is a tough one- I loved so many things about that day, from the miraculous 70 degree weather (thank you, global warming!) to dancing with my 90-year-old Grandpa at my reception. For planning purposes, though, I would have to say the best part of my wedding was having a dinner the night before in lieu of a luncheon the day of our temple ceremony. This allowed us to get married in the afternoon, which meant we had plenty of time to get ready in the morning and our wedding day didn't feel incredibly long. And what better way to spend the night before your wedding than relaxing with your closest friends and family, hearing them say beautiful things about the two of you? It was definitely my favorite part of the whole wedding process.
3. Priorities (these aren't necessarily the things you have to spend the most money on, just the things that I think should be given the most thought and attention)
-Photography
-Ceremony/reception venue
-Bridal gown
Least important:
-DJ
-Cake
-Food/catering
I have to add a disclaimer to this list, though, and say that although these were my priorities, I think the priorities can vary from wedding to wedding. For example, since I had the classic "Mormon reception" with about a billion people invited, I didn't really care about having nice food, but if I had a more formal, intimate reception I would have definitely made it more of a priority. I think the trick is really thinking through what kind of wedding you want and what you want your priotities to be beforehand, because it's going to be different for everyone.
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. What is one thing you would change about your wedding, what would it be and why? (i.e. didn't hire a professional photographer; cake cost too much, would have spent less and kept the money for ourselves.....stuff like that.....not "my in-laws" ;D
I would have spent more time enjoying my guests individually. I was just so hungry (and so was everyone else) by the time I got to the reception, that all I could do was sit down and eat something. Some people came up to us, but I wish I had roamed the room a little more to greet and thank.
2. What was your favorite part about the wedding day? (Besides your new spouse!)
The sunshine! I totally, 100% recommend having a reception in the afternoon. It links the wedding with the celebration in a much more normal way for you and your guests. It's especially nice to provide food for guests who have traveled for your wedding. Plus, your reception photos have the advantage of natural light (if you've picked a venue that's outdoors or has windows, that is). The best part is that you're not stuck entertaining and fare-welling till late in the night. When it's done, it's done and you and your new husband get to leave.
3. Out of these wedding categories listed below, what where (or should have been) your TOP 3 priorities? Bottom 3?
Flowers, Cake, Photographer, Videographer, Bridal Gown, Bridesmaid Dresses, Tuxes, Rings, Decorations, Food/Catering, DJ/Music, Location of ceremony/reception, Honeymoon, Invitations, Officiant/Clergy, or other (and specify)
Top three: Photographer, Location of ceremony and reception, Food
Bottom three: DJ/Music, Videographer, flowers
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My wedding was awesome! I would only have changed three things: (they're small, though!)
-The ceremony was outside and we weren't amplified. Although no one said anything, I am pretty sure that the people in the back couldn't hear us.
-We ran out of cake because I wasn't able to tell the caterer that they could use the topper. Which leads me to...
-I wish I had a little more time to delegate. I planned my wedding in 3 months, so the majority of the details were up in my head! My family was so helpful but I harbored a lot of the burden myself.
My favorite thing about the day was how it came together. I heard for weeks afterwards how meaningful our wedding was to everyone, and that meant a lot to us, because we wanted it to special to those that shared it with us.
Priorities: Photographer, Videographer, Ceremony/Reception Location
Lowest Priorities: Honeymoon, Decorations, Cake
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#1. Be sure you like the music that everyone is dancing too. Also, if you do the dance with the bride and groom, pay attention to the actual lyrics. Sometimes the songs are about something sad...
#2. Favorite part was being able to kiss my spouse a bunch and have everyone be fine with it!!!
#3. TOP 3 important:
1. Photographer
2. Wedding Dress
3. Music
LEAST 3 important:
1. Invitations (everyone just throws them away)
2. Cake (no one REALLY cares about the cake)
3. Honeymoon- okay, here is the deal with the honeymoon. Just make sure you get a really nice hotel b/c you will be spending most of your time in the hotel...getting to know each other
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1. My brother was in charge of music. We gave him songs to play, but shuffle kept playing the same ones, so some were never heard. We should have made a static playlist and not left it up to chance.
2. I liked seeing all my friends and seeing how all the planning came together nicely.
3. Top: Photgrapher, Rings, Clergy
Least: Invitations, Flowers, Music
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I find it interesting that the DJ is often in the "Least Important List". Why do I say that? Do I think the DJ should be the spotlight? No, of course not. A good professional DJ's top priority should be to put the spot light on the Bride and Groom, not himself. Very much like a good photographer. That said, we are talking about the person who will be announcing your cake cutting, and responsible for many of your special moments, like the bouquet toss, garter removal, garter toss, 1st dance together as husband & wife, father/daughter dance, mother/son dance, and many other special events during your reception. Do you want a cheap DJ who may not be confident using a mic, to handle all your special moments? Do you want a DJ with orange walmart power cables, and a table with a bunch of wiring hanging out the back, in the room with your decorations, linens in your wedding colors, flowers, and so forth in the expensive beautiful venue you rented out? Or would you want someone confident on a mic, that has a clean nice looking setup behind a facade, with nice white speaker stand covers, who can uplight your room in your wedding colors, who will consult with you, and listen to what your dream reception would be, and do his/her best to make that happen? A professional DJ will consult with you, and generally have you fill out a schedule, will go over the schedule with you, to make sure everything happens right. He/she will consult with your wedding planner if you have one, and will communicate with your other vendors, to work with them. If you are going to have a DJ at your reception, it's very important to get a good one, not a cheap one. Do a search for "worst wedding DJ's" on Youtube, and you will see what I am talking about. A good DJ can really put a wonderful spotlight on the bride and groom, not himself, and entertain your guests. A bad DJ has it in his/her power to make a spectacle of himself/herself, and potentially ruin your reception. There are a great many good quality professional DJ's in Utah. If you are going to have one, make sure you call quite a few, interview several, and choose one based on professionalism, not just price.
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